Thank You, 2024

2024. You were a dream. You showed me a world that I always knew was possible. A breath of newness and excitement. The unknown ahead. Risks were taken. Stomachs ached. Toothy grins throughout. Glasses were raised. Company was kept. And I became free. You awoke a spark within me that ignited my childish excitement for life. You were a year that taught me about friendship and love, but more importantly about myself. You gave me more than I could ask for. I was scared of you at first, but oh how you spoiled me. Adventure coursed through your veins, bringing me along with it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes to purchasing concert tickets the day of. Yes to traveling to Wyoming for a rodeo with girls I barely knew then. Yes to making conversation with the bus driver one day, which turned into a daily routine and a new friendship that I cherish. Yes to fear. Yes to the unknown. Yes to the love. Who knew that you would teach me so much? Who knew that you would change me so much? I am new because of you. I’m sad to see you go. How will it get better? Maybe it won’t. But maybe it will. 

My ego was bruised. Lessons were learned. You pushed me to change, to transform, to become her. The girl that I always knew I could be. The girl I always knew I was. You handed me the mirror and forced me to stare at my own reflection. You have to start with nothing to earn everything. You were a stranger, picking away at my walls and forcing me to let go. We became best friends. We soon will be only a memory. 

I want to stay with you for a little longer. But I only have until midnight before you’re gone. There is so much to come in 2025, but for now, let me sit with 2024 for just a little bit longer. Let me take it in and be in her company while I can. One last glass of wine with her and be reminded of everything we did together. She was powerful and tender and now she is fleeting. Gone just like that. I think I want her to stay forever, but she won’t. No matter how hard I try to keep her close. She will step away, withering into the distance, but her presence and impact will remain. Parts of her will always be remembered. But many parts will be lost forever. So instead I will stay in this moment, thanking her for everything she brought to my life. There will be no begging her to stay because I know she can’t. We will sit across the table from eachother one last time, taking in eachother’s company while we have it. I won’t see her ever again, and neither will you. So whether she was good to you or not, sit with her and thank her while she’s here. Take her in for what she was. 

Thank you 2024. You were the best year of my life… so far.