Be More Interesting

We’re creatures of habit, whether we like to admit it or not. Even the ones who swear by spontaneity, who chase adventure like it’s their life’s purpose—deep down, there’s comfort in routine. It’s familiar, predictable, safe. And breaking out of it? That’s the hard part. Quitting bad habits, trying something new, stepping into the unknown—it’s uncomfortable, so we stall. We sit in it. We stew. A situation. A person. A moment that lingers too long in our minds, weaving itself into our conversations, clouding our present. 

When life doesn’t go as planned (which, let’s be real, is often), it’s easy to fixate. It’s human to repeat a situation, a person, or an outcome over and over again in our thoughts when something didn’t unfold the way we wanted. We bring it up in conversation, replay it in our minds, let it take up space in places it doesn’t belong. The more we feed it, the harder it is to move on. The past stays alive because we keep breathing life into it. It eats us alive, and we welcome it.

The most frequent way that I have seen this manifest itself recently is through people talking about being single. They make it their whole personality. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve made self-deprecating jokes about being single as well, but when you can rely on a person to bring it up time and time again, it becomes damaging. Damaging to yourself and to your relationship with others. Yes, it’s easy for us singles to complain about how difficult the dating scene is and choose to believe it as we continue to speak it out into the world. It grows and it festers, exploding at any chance it can get. It poisons the air around you. Most people know the struggles and challenges of dating, even if they’re currently in a relationship. It may look different now than it did for them, but we’ve all experienced the highs and lows of dating. Don’t subconsciously guilt people into feeling bad for you. Don’t make them relive your experiences and pain. Don’t underscore their own experiences. You never know, maybe they went through worse. Don’t be that person. Don’t let this thing begin to define you. Whether that’s a situationship, an ex, maybe even a new romantic partner, a failed job application, a friend who wronged you, a new city you want to move to – don’t become consumed with it. Live with it, learn from it, and move on from it. Learn to vent when you need to and when to control yourself. Be intentional. What is helping you and what is hurting you? Are you feeding the monster? Suffocate it before it suffocates you. Your words give it life, so kill it with silence.  

Stop letting it define you. BE MORE INTERESTING. I think we can all be better at this. Read something new. Talk to strangers. Sign up for that class. Say yes to things that scare you. Fill your time with all that you love – and maybe part of that is not knowing what you love yet. Explore! Fill your mind with what will help you mold into the person you want to become. Fill your life with people and moments that take up space in your memories – slowly extinguishing that once intruding thought. That one thing that used to constantly bang at your mind until it exploded out, will fade into a soft thud, then quiet footsteps tiptoeing away, until one day you don’t even realize it’s gone. Welcome the silence. Fill it with life. The moment you shift your energy elsewhere, new doors start to open and other ones close. Before you know it, you’re no longer the person who only talks about their ex, their bad luck, their what-ifs. You’re someone who’s living, moving, growing. Someone who’s writing a better story. So, stop replaying something that didn’t work out and start being more interesting.