Actions Speak, Words Echo

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about integrity.

We’ve all been there, let down by words that never turned into actions. Promises that floated in the air, only to disappear like smoke. Still, we hold onto them (at least try to) because they meant something, even if only for a moment. And when they’re broken, no matter how big or small, it stings. You start to build walls with each letdown, each half-kept promise.

I went through something not too long ago where every word said to me was just that—words. No follow-through. And over time, trust fades. Hope fades. Excitement fades. You tell yourself, “Everyone gets busy,” or “It was just this once,” but then once becomes ten times, and ten turns into twenty. Eventually, your expectations are buried so low that disappointment feels inevitable. You stop believing. You’re shocked when someone actually does what they said they would. And even though you know you can’t control what other people say or do, you still want to believe them. And when they let you down, it can feel soul-crushing.

You get cautious. Hesitant. You didn’t ask for those words; they offered them. Tossed them out like they meant nothing. And maybe I should’ve been more guarded, recognized the patterns. But I couldn’t help it. I got excited about plans and ideas I never asked for because they sparked something in me. They gave me hope. And when they didn’t happen? It left me feeling hollow.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it.”
“Well, I got busy.”
“I never said that.”

I felt like I was losing my mind. Why say something you never meant to follow through on? Why create hope where none was needed? Why set an expectation just to break it?

After that, I made a promise to myself: I’d only believe actions. Words, no matter how pretty, mean nothing without them. But I’m still a girl who loves words, which makes it hard. I want to believe them. I still do.

Since then, my walls have gone up. But it still surprises me how often people let you down. How often they speak with no intention of backing it up. It’s wild how common it’s become to say what you think someone wants to hear, instead of just being real. I shouldn’t have to doubt everything people say. I shouldn’t have to proceed with caution. But I find myself giving chances and falling for words, and I’m back at square one, feeling like an idiot for not taking my own advice.

Yes, life happens. We’re all busy. But in that case, just hold your tongue until you can catch your breath. Don’t say anything at all. Because maybe it seems small to you, fleeting, forgettable. But maybe for them, it meant more. Maybe they were looking forward to you helping them move, because you said you’d be there, ready to blast music and sip champagne in their new place. Maybe they were excited about the date you planned, getting ready that morning extra early, only for you to cancel the day of, and never reschedule like you said you would. Maybe they waited for a FaceTime you brought up multiple times, and it never came.

Don’t be that person.

Don’t keep people waiting on your word.
Don’t be the reason someone stops trusting.
Don’t say things you don’t mean.

Because I can guarantee they were excited. They believed you. And they didn’t need you to offer anything. They didn’t expect it. But when you did, they waited. And now, every syllable from someone new is filtered through that letdown.

Don’t be the reason people harden.
Be the reason they still believe, in integrity, in kindness, in good people.

I’m still trying to stay optimistic. I still want to believe people mean what they say. But living in a constant state of I’ll–believe–it–when–I–see–it? It gets exhausting. I don’t want to live guarded, waiting for proof. I want to live in a world where people mean it the first time. Where follow-through isn’t rare, it’s expected.

So I’ll keep hoping. Cautiously, maybe, but hoping all the same. Because deep down, I still believe words can mean something. They just need to be backed with action.

And hey, it’s okay if you don’t feel the way someone hopes. It’s okay to change your mind. But can we all just be a little more honest? A little more real? Can we hold ourselves accountable for the things we put out into the world, especially the things we promise? Most of all, can we show up with some integrity?

Because words can be beautiful. But without action, they’re just noise. And I think we all deserve more than that.